Happy Sunday, Internet Friends and Acquaintances!
Fun fact, I’d chosen these affirmations and made these graphics for two weeks ago… but then a surprising plot twist occured.
Just over two weeks ago, I self-admitted myself to an Inpatient Psychiatric Hospital. I had been experiencing an increase of unsafe thoughts at night after PHP, and felt like I needed the extra support.
Part of me felt really ashamed about this. This was my 8th inpatient hospitalization for mental health since my first mental health episode 16 years ago. At first I felt like a failure – shouldn’t I be able to handle triggers and such better by now?
But, part of what was wrong was that my medication was not working the way it should. And part of me knew this. So I wasn’t able to function or use my coping skills the way I should. And that’s not my fault. I expressed this to my support system, and was actually making medication changes with my psychiatrist in PHP.
One of the best things about my choice to go inpatient was that I went to the hospital where my PHP was affiliated with, so I got to keep the psychiatrist I had begun working with. Being inpatient also meant that we could make more drastic medication changes quicker than if I were outpatient, because I was under constant supervision and had medical access 24/7.
When I woke up on my fifth day of hospitalization, I felt more like myself than I had in months. I had hope for the future, and the thoughts had begun to become quieter and less frequent.
Did I enjoy or want to go inpatient? No. But the undeniable truth is that I needed to. I’m safe again. I feel hopeful again. And I know that I’m going to be okay. The uncomfortable pillows and terrible food are worth that.
I want to write a bit more about my experience going inpatient (and have already on my Instagram!) so definitely keep a eye out.
Although, because I didn’t have access to my phone, or journal, or even google docs… it was a lot harder for me to keep up with my daily affirmations for myself. But again, it was worth it so I could be stabilized. That being said… I am so excited to get back to sharing affirmations with ya’ll (almost) every week!
When I share affirmations, I always put them in the order that I personally will be using them (1 is Sunday, 2 is Monday, 3 is Tuesday, etc.), but I encourage you to and hope that you will use them in whatever that means. If that means using all 7 every day, or mixing up the order, or only using a few… good! Take what you need, and leave the rest. Your affirmation practice isn’t about what I do, it’s about what works for you.
Have a great rest of the week, and I’ll see you next Sunday! Be well, and take good care of yourself – you’re worth it!
- I give myself the love I am worthy of.
- I am confident that I have the resilience to get through anything that comes my way.
- I can be kind and set healthy boundaries.
- I have faith in the person I am becoming.
- Asking for help does not make me a failure or a burden.
- I radiate love and self-confidence.
- Every day, I am closer to achieving my goals.